What is Communal Narcissism and How Does It Impact Relationships?

Narcissism is a term often used to describe individuals who seem excessively self-centered, entitled, and vain. While this general understanding is correct to an extent, the field of psychology distinguishes between various forms of narcissism. One particularly elusive and complex subtype is communal narcissism. Unlike the more recognizable grandiose or overt narcissists, communal narcissists express their narcissistic traits within the context of altruism and social concern. This type of narcissism can be harder to spot but equally damaging to relationships and communities.

Let’s explore the key characteristics and the potential underlying causes of communal narcissism. We’ll also look at the impact communal narcissists can have on relationships and the community, drawing on the work of well-known experts in the field such as Dr. Craig Malkin, Dr. Ramani Durvasula, and others.

What is Communal Narcissism?

Communal narcissism is a term that describes individuals who exhibit narcissistic tendencies within the domain of communal life. This includes their relationships with others, their involvement in social causes, and their role in the community. Unlike more traditional narcissists who seek admiration for their intelligence, appearance, or success, communal narcissists gain their sense of superiority by appearing to be highly empathetic, compassionate, and concerned with the well-being of others.

Key Characteristics of Communal Narcissism

Communal narcissists are unique in that they present themselves as selfless, generous, and deeply involved in helping others. However, their altruism is not genuine. It is a tool for self-enhancement, designed to secure admiration, praise, and recognition from those around them. Here are some common traits:

1. Grandiosity in Altruism – Communal narcissists believe that they are better than others in their ability to care for and help people. They may state, “No one cares as much as I do,” or “I’m the only one who can truly make a difference.”

2. Exaggerated Concern for Social Causes – They often champion social causes but tend to do so for the recognition it brings them. Their activism or charitable efforts are typically just performance rather than driven by genuine concern.

3. Attention-Seeking Through Compassion – Communal narcissists expect to be praised for their kindness and selflessness. When they are not recognized for their efforts, they may become upset or resentful.

4. Manipulation of Relationships – They often use relationships to bolster their image as caring and altruistic, but these relationships are transactional, serving their need for validation.

5. Public vs. Private Behavior – Communal narcissists may appear to be deeply caring in public, but in private, their behavior is often self-centered and emotionally detached from those they claim to care about.

The Psychology Behind Communal Narcissism

Like other forms of narcissism, communal narcissism often stems from a deep need for validation and a fragile sense of self. Research suggests that narcissistic traits can develop from a combination of genetic predisposition, childhood experiences, and societal influences.

1. Childhood Trauma – Many narcissists, including communal ones, may have experienced significant emotional neglect or overvaluation during their formative years. They may have been praised excessively for their outward behavior, such as helping others, while their internal emotional needs were ignored. As a result, they learn to derive self-worth from external validation rather than internal fulfillment.

2. Societal Expectations – In some cases, societal pressures to be seen as a “good person” can exacerbate communal narcissistic traits. In certain environments, individuals may be rewarded for being self-sacrificing and altruistic, leading communal narcissists to perform these behaviors for the sake of recognition, not authenticity.

3. The Role of Empathy – While communal narcissists may appear to be empathetic, their empathy is often shallow and only for performance. Research by Dr. Craig Malkin has shown that narcissists often lack genuine empathy, meaning they do not feel the emotions of others deeply. Instead, communal narcissists use empathy as a tool to manipulate how others perceive them.

The Impact of Communal Narcissism on Relationships and Communities

Communal narcissists can cause significant harm to their relationships and the communities in which they are involved. On the surface, they may appear to be model citizens—devoted friends, partners, or community leaders. However, over time, the underlying narcissism reveals itself in ways that can be detrimental to both individuals and groups.

1. Toxic Relationships – Partners and friends of communal narcissists may feel emotionally drained and confused. Because the communal narcissist positions themselves as caring and generous, it can be difficult to challenge their behavior without being made to feel guilty or ungrateful. Relationships with communal narcissists are often transactional, with the narcissist expecting praise and admiration for their supposed altruism.

2. Undermining Genuine Altruism – In communities and social groups, communal narcissists can undermine genuine efforts to help others. Their need for recognition often leads them to take credit for others’ work or overshadow the contributions of people who are truly motivated by altruism. This behavior can create a toxic atmosphere where real compassion and selflessness are devalued.

3. Emotional Manipulation – When communal narcissists do not receive the validation they crave, they may resort to emotional manipulation, guilt-tripping, or passive-aggressive behavior. They may position themselves as victims, accusing others of not appreciating their efforts, which can lead to emotional conflict in personal and professional settings.

Communal narcissists need to be approached with caution. Their outward appearance of compassion can mask deeper, more self-serving intentions. Maintaining healthy boundaries and promoting self-awareness can help mitigate the negative impact they can have on both individuals and communities.