How to Stay True to Yourself After an Adult Autism Diagnosis

For many adults, receiving an autism diagnosis can enormously shift their understanding of themselves. It’s a revelation that comes with a mix of emotions—relief, grief, confusion, and hope. But the complexities of a diagnosis later in life is also an opportunity to rediscover oneself, make sense of the past, and chart a new path forward.

Let’s talk about this for a minute.

What is Autism in Adults?

According to the American Psychological Association (APA), “Autism spectrum disorder (ASD) is a neurodevelopmental condition characterized by differences in social communication and social interaction and the presence of intense interests or repetitive behaviors.” While historically associated with children, research increasingly acknowledges that autism persists into adulthood. Many adults, especially women and individuals from marginalized backgrounds, go undiagnosed due to societal misconceptions and diagnostic biases.

The Rising Awareness of Adult Autism

A study published in the National Library of Medicine highlighted that late autism diagnoses are on the rise (UK), partly due to better awareness and changing diagnostic criteria. However, diagnoses often remain uneven for women of color and those from lower-income backgrounds.

The Emotional Landscape of Diagnosis

Relief and Validation

For many adults, an autism diagnosis offers profound relief. It explains a lifetime of feeling "different" or misunderstood. Some claim to have finally understood why socializing drained them, or why they were so meticulous about their routines.

Research supports this sentiment. A study in adult autism found that late-diagnosed individuals often experience a sense of validation, reporting improved self-esteem and mental health post-diagnosis.

Grief and Regret

At the same time, receiving a diagnosis can trigger feelings of grief and regret. Adults may mourn the support they missed as children or the opportunities lost due to misunderstanding their needs. For many, there’s a period of re-evaluating life choices, relationships, and careers through the lens of this new understanding.

Hope and Growth

An adult autism diagnosis can also be a springboard for growth. With self-awareness comes the ability to seek professional support, build supportive networks, and practice self-care and positive self-talk.

Cultural and Socioeconomic Dimensions

Cultural Influences on Diagnosis

Cultural attitudes toward autism vary widely, influencing how symptoms are perceived and whether individuals seek evaluation. In some cultures, behavioral differences are stigmatized or attributed to other factors, delaying diagnosis.

Racial and Socioeconomic Disparities

Black and Hispanic adults are often underdiagnosed or misdiagnosed with conditions like ADHD or mood disorders. Socioeconomic status also plays a role, as accessing diagnostic services can be costly and time-consuming.

Gender and Masking

Women are particularly likely to be diagnosed late due to social masking, a coping strategy where individuals camouflage autistic traits to fit societal norms. This can make symptoms less apparent, delaying recognition.

Rediscovering Yourself Post-Diagnosis

Reflecting on Your Identity

A diagnosis often prompts deep introspection. Some individuals revisit childhood memories, recognizing sensory sensitivities or social struggles in a new light. Journaling or therapy can help process these realizations and integrate them into a cohesive self-concept.

Building Community

Finding others with similar experiences can be profoundly affirming. Online forums, social media groups, and local autism organizations provide spaces to share stories, ask questions, and build friendships.

Advocating for Your Needs

Self-advocacy is a key skill for navigating life post-diagnosis. This might involve requesting adjustments at work, communicating sensory needs in relationships, or setting boundaries to protect your energy.

Exploring Special Interests

Many autistic adults describe special interests—intense passions for specific topics—as sources of joy and fulfillment. Exploring these interests can be a way to nurture your authentic self.

Challenges and Limitations

While an autism diagnosis can bring clarity, it doesn’t solve every challenge. Accessing support services can be difficult, especially for adults, as many systems focus on children. Additionally, societal stigma and misunderstanding persist, requiring ongoing advocacy and education.

Practical Advice for Those Who Suspect They Might Be Autistic

1. Educate Yourself

Learn about autism from reputable sources. Books like “Unmasking Autism” by Devon Price or blogs by autistic adults can provide valuable insights.

2. Seek Assessment

If you believe you might be autistic, consider seeking an evaluation from a qualified professional, such as a psychologist or neurologist. Be prepared to advocate for yourself, especially if your traits don’t fit traditional stereotypes.

3. Connect with Others

Join autism-focused communities to gain support and learn from others’ experiences.

4. Practice Self-Compassion

Remember that your value isn’t diminished by your diagnosis. Accept your unique strengths and perspectives.

Rediscovering yourself after an adult autism diagnosis is a journey, not a destination. It’s a process of unlearning societal expectations, embracing authenticity, and finding the tools and support to thrive. While challenges remain, the increasing recognition of adult autism offers hope for a future where more individuals can live as their truest selves, unapologetically and empowered.